Navigating Communication During the Holidays

Sherry Ellingson
Nov 25, 2025
2 min read

By Sherry Ellingson

Holidays can be challenging for most people. We all want them to be warm, fuzzy and fun.

It just isn't that way, and if yours' is amazing that's great and you probably don't need to read this :).

Holidays are a time when family can come together to celebrate the season. It's really a time to put differences aside and be there for each other. Communication is a big part of these gatherings. We can have a lot of fun or it can get down right ugly.

For many years my family holiday gatherings were dreadful. I never knew who was going to do what. Moodiness, resentment, competitiveness were the key feelings. Basically not fun at all and definitely not warm and fuzzy.

A lot has changed for my family since then and now we get to create our own traditions. Who we get to see, what we eat and how we do it. For example last year my daughters and I went away to London during the Holidays and the only complaint was that we didn't stay long enough :). A truly amazing time.

So here are my suggestions to navigate the Holidays with communication that is less hostile and more centered.

The basic step for any communication to work is: are the people involved willing to have a cohesive relationship? In reality are they willing to put down differences and enjoy the day?

How are you feeling is the next important area to explore. Are you drained from your life and running on empty? The most loving thing you can do for yourself is to opt-out of the gathering and instead do something that will fill your emotional bucket.

Lastly if you choose to host/go to a gathering try not to engage in conversations that you don't agree with. Fighting, arguing, and yelling is not going to change anyone's mind on anything. Not engaging is another form of self-care. You can use statements such as :