by Sherry Ellingson
Some people like to think they have tolerance, are open minded, are supporters of gender equity and are feminists. I see that people are human and have subconscious thoughts that they have not worked out or even realized that create their feelings and actions.
What and who is a feminist? A career woman focused on her job ? A woman who stays at home to raise a family? A woman who tries to juggle work, kids, home ? A woman who is out there fighting for social justice? A woman who wears make up? A woman who chooses not to wear a bra or dress feminine?
These are all stereotypes, a true feminist: in her heart and mind supports other women.
These are all questions to ask to get to know yourself better.
I personally have many stories to tell but I will share a few.
As a young woman I worked in Berkeley, Ca. and yes I wore make-up :). One day on my lunch break I walked past another woman; who stopped and made a comment about me wearing lipstick. It was a long time ago, but I remember the judgment and negative feelings she had towards women wearing make-up.
In addition I worked in retail management and I was a buyer for many years. In a field that is mostly women . However they treated men way better, paid them more and promoted them over women. I had a colleague ( knew him and had recommended him) who was hired as an Assistant Manager and his starting salary was way more than women who were in that same position. Most retail companies are run by men in upper management and in the positions of VPs and Presidents. While women are in sales, or lower management positions. The few women who are at the top, prefer to hire men and give them opportunities and forgiveness that they would not give the female employees.
This is true in other fields, vocations and companies.
It's important to step back and look at your decisions. If you had the choice of hiring a female vs. male mechanic who would you hire? What if you had to hire a plumber and you had the option between male or female? How about a Lawyer? Then ask yourself why.
As we move on our paths in this world to try to help others in their pain and suffering, it's important to step back and look out our own internal pain and suffering. Looking at what you believe in about other women. Do you compete with other women, put them down behind their back, hire a man to do a job vs. giving the woman a chance?
It's important to notice and become aware of your subconscious, thought patterns and actions.
Sherry Ellingson
Life Coach
