By Sherry Ellingson
I am not a Doctor of any kind.
I am a Coach and have worked with tons of people in the areas of health, relationships and money management. Plus I have personally have over come tons of health issues, loss of money and debt and I have certainly had to heal my relationships both romantically and friendships.
According to the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Volk, M.D.; our brain mind and body remembers trauma. I also want to take it further that it's not just trauma that sticks with us. It's the way we are raised, our friendships, what we learn in our cultures and schools.
We create stories based on what happened and that becomes our life. For example my parents and I moved here in 1979 during the Iranian Revolution. My parents had a nice home, careers and family and friends. A tight knit community. When we moved they had to start from step 1. Learning to speak English, my mom had to retake all of her nursing exams as she learned the language and my Dad went from one job to another. Both of my parents suffered from extreme health dis-ease later in life.
In addition I see people repeat what their parents marriages look(ed) like, how they handle(d) money, and the way they go about creating and maintaining
friendships. There is no life manual and what you saw, felt and experienced is your story today.
If you are still reading this and you are interested in managing your anxiety and changing your life for the better; your first step and most important is to heal your past.
Here are some steps to get you started:
1- Take 4 slow deep belly breaths (do more if needed).
2- Notice what area of your life needs your attention.
3- Grab paper and a pen and make a list of all the things you feel about that area(s) of your life.
4- Then ask your self why do I think this, write it down.
That is the story you have been telling yourself.
Now begin to heal your past. Knowing that the people in your life didn't have manuals. You may choose to work with a therapist or coach to help you through this process.
As you heal your past, you can heal the present and plan for your future.
The most important thing you can do for you as the first step to healing is to heal your past.
XO,
Sherry
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