Communication is everything in our lives. How we communicate (talk, listen, email, text and social media posts) is an expression and extension of us.
Our emotions come through and in some cases the intent and delivery do not coincide. We can listen to someone talk (including but not limited to: news, books, magazines, podcasts, friends and family) and because of their words we can feel anger, hurt or resentful. Words are energy and they have a huge impact. They can carry compassion or they can be toxic. How we listen is just as important as how we talk. To be able to listen compassionately with our whole being can make the other person feel heard and that they matter. Avoidance is an example of communication. While you may not be saying anything the lack of communication is considered toxic and can hurt a relationship.
The goal is to communicate feelings, needs and wants in a non-harmful way. Words have multiple meanings based on the individual. The tone of voice, facial expressions and body language communicate feelings and emotions without our intention.
What you feel even if you don’t know it shows up in words, body language and tone of voice. For instance, we might not be aware that we are irritated, tired, or hungry and the way we are receiving/hearing communication and the way we speak is highly affected.
There is the aspect of the way and how people were raised that has a huge impact on our communication with our partner (it doesn’t have to be a romantic partner). There may be “triggers” and or “wounds” from childhood and growing up that you many not know that exists until you are in a committed relationship. Then all of a sudden, the partner’s choice of words begin to feel like little knives going right into the wound that you didn’t know was there, then there can be a possibility of reacting in a negative and harmful way with our choice of words towards your partner. Whether that is fighting or running away from the conversation/situation.
The problem is that if not healed individually and together as a couple/workplace/or any two dynamics the lack of loving communication begins to erode the relationship. Anger, resentment and untrustworthiness begins to build until it becomes impossible to fix the relationship.
It’s not just about the relationship, you might think oh he/she and I can’t get along, there is someone else out there who gets me.
The truth is it takes two people to engage in these conversations. And most likely there are wounds that both people have and carry that needs healing. Unfortunately, if not healed every other relationship in the future will carry the same negative communication skills with similar results. It's not possible to heal with a new relationship until the internal work has been done.
A violent or lack of loving communication is not just with a romantic partner. I have seen it manifest with mothers and daughters/sons, work colleagues, siblings, and with clients. This results in businesses losing money, and relationships going sour over and over. My job is to help heal the wounds and give you the tools to work with in order to heal. The goal is to be non-harming to yourself and others.
Company/Business Consulting and Coaching on Communication
Businesses and companies suffer due to the style of communication that has become part of the company culture. Clients, customers and employees feel unseen, unheard and can feel the company is not inclusive. This results in lack of productivity, clients leaving and in most cases the damage has been done and the company can't regain their reputation. As a communication consultant/coach I will sit in on meetings and check in with employees and management. I will offer a course of action and in most cases am able to offer workshops to help train the team and offer tools to offer an inclusive working environment. In addition to the workshop I will have the team check in with me weekly for 8 weeks in order to be able to allow the tools to be a part of the new company culture.
Please email me for more questions.
Are you ready to make a change in your communication style?
I'm glad you're reading this, there's a reason you have been brought to this page. You might be tired of how your relationships are going. You might have gotten feedback on your communication style, or you might not even communicate your thoughts, ideas and or feelings because you are worried about the consequences. Or perhaps you don't feel "seen" by the people in your life. If you are in the service industry you might have seen a decrease in your client base or your business might have gotten negative reviews on Yelp. Whatever the reason celebrate the fact that you here and have the willingness to see a different way then what is now.
I offer a course to work on communication that is 12 weeks. This is great program for anyone who wants to better their relationships. Students, athletes, business owners, sales leaders, lawyers, teachers, physical fitness coaches, salon and self care professionals, service based industry professionals and the general public can benefit from the program. You can increase your client base, increase your bottom line and better all of your relationships: romantic, friendships, co-workers, employees and client base. This program will help in improving self confidence as you strengthen your listening and speaking skills.
The first 8 weeks we meet once a week (via phone/Zoom/Facetime) with a designated topic that I will teach you. We will review the previous week's successes and areas of opportunity. Every week has designated work to be done to help raise awareness and strengthen your skills from the learned topic. Each week is designed to layer on the previous week.
Weeks 9-12 are done via email. These last weeks are taking the tools that you have learned and integrating them while still keeping in touch with me.
Pricing: $950 for 12 weeks. (PayPal/Venmo)
Weeks 1-8 to meet in person (virtually) for 55 minutes/ once a week.
Weeks 9-12 email me 1/week to check in and I will respond with a plan of action if needed and or feedback.